Are you lonesome tonight?

I'm sitting waiting for L to hurry up so we can go back to our bedsit. Every weekend we come and hang out at his parents house - well, it's kind of just his Dad's house now because his Mum is living elsewhere. I don't mind, but L, his brother D and his Dad have all been out all day at the new flat doing some DIY stuff, so it's been me, the laptop and Ramsey for most of the day.

I did go up there this morning and strip some wallpaper, but my boobs filled up painfully with milk for the little munchkin, and I had to be carted off home to release the pressure.

Disgustingly, and probably quite neglectfully, Ramsey has been in the same babygro/vest thingy for 3 days now. I did ask L to grab another one from our flat but he didn't, and if he doesn't wear a vest all his clothes ride up around his neck. So he is a poo-stained little boy. Obviously, I have changed his nappy, I'm not an idiot.

He has just finished feeding from me, and now is conked out in his travel cot. He'll probably wake up again at around 1.30am for a bottlefeed, which I give him in the vain hope of getting him to sleep longer, so that I can have a decent nights kip. It hasn't worked yet, but it's all part of the routine now.

I'm sitting in the kitchen on my own, having a cigarette and thinking about how annoyed I am that e are still here. L is waiting for a 'delivery' of his favourite green combustible, and then he has to take D to the all night garage, so they can get some oil for the mini-moto that he exchanged for a taser, of all things, the dodge little begger.

As well as having a dirty baby, I also feel extremely dirty and want to have a bath. My hair is all hanging in my face lankly and there is a strange odour coming from my jeans. In all, I feel quite disgusting.